


Wish I Were...

by KangHoo



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Not Really Character Death, Past Sokka/Yue (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:53:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26571727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KangHoo/pseuds/KangHoo
Summary: Yue watched from the sky. She illuminated the dark night every hour until dawn rose, and all everyone saw was the moon.But the moon had memories. And the moon had feelings.As Yue watched from the sky, she wished she were Suki.
Relationships: Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Yue (Avatar)
Kudos: 41





	Wish I Were...

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by the song "Heather" by Conan Gray! The lyrics are within the story as well!
> 
> Enjoy!! <3

_"I still remember: third of December._

_Me in your sweater._

_You said it looked better_

_On me, than it did you._

_Only if you knew_

_How much I liked you,_

_But I watch your eyes--"_

On the third of December, Yue stood on the bridge connecting two cross-ways. She stared at the moon, noticing how full it was growing. There was still time before the full moon rose--about a few days before it happened--but Yue still loved the moon as it was.

It was beautiful.

As she stared at the moon, she didn't notice footsteps growing closer. Her eyes, which were invested in the almost-full-moon above, were soon covered by gentle gloved hands. She gasped in surprise.

"Guess who?" a voice whispered in her ear.

Yue knew who it was: Sokka.

She smiled and grabbed at his hands, gently lowering them from her eyes. She turned around to face him, still grasping his hands--warm and welcoming to her touch. 

His smile--toothy and cheeky--startled the butterflies in her stomach. It reminded her of the full moon--so bright and adoring to the eye. She could stare at his smile for hours. It was just as warm and welcoming as his hands, and suddenly Yue had the urge to hug him.

So she did.

And he laughed, so low and lovingly. She could listen to that sound for hours, too.

"Why the sudden hug?" he asked, whispering to her as though someone would hear.

Perhaps someone _could have_ heard. Her father would be disappointed. Her fiancé would be upset. But in that moment...

"I'm just a little cold," she muttered, holding him tighter and smiling into his chest.

She felt his arms wrap around her securely, holding her just as tight as she was holding him. It lasted a few seconds before she felt his hands go to her shoulders and pull her off.

Yue didn't want to whine at the loss of contact, but she couldn't help herself. He was warm, loving, gentle, and--

"Here," Sokka said, taking off his winter coat, "Put this on."

"But you'll be cold," she protesting, trying to stop him. "You need a coat! You'll be cold and--"

He stopped her by wrapping his winter coat around her shoulders. It was big on her, even as she was wearing a winter coat of her own. 

But it was cozy. Nice. _Warm._

"It looks good on you," he whispered, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Better on you than on me..."

Yue turned around, facing her back towards him. She didn't want him to see her blush--a bright red hue that painted her dark-tan features. He had told her before that she looked cute when she blushed, but she still felt _slightly_ self-conscious from time to time.

As she tugged his winter coat closer toward her, she felt his arms snake around her waist. Yue stilled; her heart beat erratically as her blush deepened. The butterflies in her stomach grew restless, swarming around so violently in such a good way.

But she was happy.

They stared at the almost-full-moon together, whispering here and there about nothing yet everything. For the first time in a long time, Yue was content. She was happy. She felt warm. She looked behind her, smiling wider when the boy blessed her with his infamous smile.

She loved the boy that gave her his winter coat without a second thought, but she loved that boy's smile the most.

_"--As she walks by._

_What a sight for sore eyes,_

_Brighter than the blue sky._

_She's got you mesmerized,_

_While I die..."_

At the end of the day, Yue had a fiancé. Her duty to her people in the Northern Water Tribe came first.

She hated it.

She really, _really_ hated it.

She knew her fiance didn't love her. In return, she didn't even care to remember his name.

But she remembered Sokka's name. His name was ingrained in her memory like a carving on a desert stone. He was all that she could think about--all that her happy memories were centered around--but it was wrong.

Their love was _wrong_.

So she called Sokka over to the bridge, where they watched the moon every night, and told him that she wasn't allowed to love him. He listened to her explain her duties to her people.

And he was mad.

No, he wasn't _mad_ , per say. He was heartbroken.

So was Yue.

But she ran away from him, leaving him on the bridge. Tears streamed down her face, and when she looked back, she could make out his blurry figure in the distance. One swipe at her tears to clear her vision let her know that he was also crying. 

And Yue felt _guilty._

But she ran away. She ran until she reached her home--the palace she grew up in. She ran until she saw her room and barged in, closing the door behind her. She jumped on her bed, flopping on her stomach and putting her face in her pillow.

She cried and cursed at her fate.

At least if she died the day she was born, she wouldn't have to know what heartbreak felt like. 

But she survived.

At that moment, despite all odds, Yue wanted to die.

_"Why would you ever kiss me?_

_I'm not even half as pretty._

_You gave her your sweater._

_It's just polyester,_

_But you like her better._

_Wish I were Heather."_

"No..." Sokka's voice wavered as he tried to reach out to her. "Yue... _no..._ "

Zhao killed the moon spirit, but Yue could bring the spirit back. When all was settled by the avatar, and Zhao had fled, the moon spirit was still dead. The koi fish laid in the water--unmoving and barely afloat. Yue knew what to do, and as much as she feared for her sacrifice, she was willing to do whatever she could to protect her people.

So she placed her hands on the dead moon spirit and gave it her own life. The part of her soul connected with the moon spirit drifted out from her human form, and the moon soon resurfaced in the sky.

But behind her, she heard soft sobs. She turned to face the noise and almost cried upon seeing her one true love pained in sorrow.

"Yue..." He reached out to her, stumbling on shaky legs as he walked towards her. "Yue... what...?"

"This is my duty, Sokka," she explained, trying to hold back tears.

He cried harder. _He loved her._

But this was her duty. She needed to protect her people--and by an extension, the entire world. The universe needed the moon. If she could give Tui a chance to live on, she would do it in a heartbeat.

And that's what she did.

Yue reached over and cupped Sokka's face, gently brushing away his tears. She whispered sweet nothings to him, telling him how important this was for everyone. She knew that he wasn't listening much; he was grieving. In every sense, she died in front of him.

_He loved her._

"I love you, Sokka," she told him, meaning every single word. "I will always be with you."

She kissed him, feeling him lean into her lips as much as he could. She wanted to stay like that forever--kissing the boy she gave her heart to.

But she had to go. She parted, wiping away the last of his tears before ascending into the sky. She watched as his form grew smaller and smaller. A tear ran down her face before she was reunited with the moon as Tui. Even as the moon spirit, she made a promise to watch over him.

Because he loved her.

And she loved him just as much.

_"Watch as she stands with her holding your hand._

_Put your arm 'round her shoulder,_

_Now I'm getting colder._

_But how could I hate her?_

_She's such an angel..._

_But then again, kinda wish she were dead--"_

Sokka talked to her every night. When the full moon illuminated in the sky, he would stay up all night until dawn broke through. Sometimes, Yue wished that she could talk to him, but she always liked to listen to his voice.

Even when La's tides became too loud, she could always hear him.

He would talk about his day. Sometimes, he would complain about Katara and Aang--how insufferably romantic they were without even dating. Other times, when a blind earthbender named Toph joined the team, he would tell her what kind of argument her and Katara got into. 

She always wanted to laugh at those stories. She wanted to be in his arms as he talked to her, but perhaps that was asking for too much.

Being in the sky was enough. At least she was able to hear his voice every night.

But then, the topic shifted.

There was a girl named Suki--a Kyoshi warrior. The warrior seemed strong and independent and capable and--

_Perfect._

Even from the sky, she could see Sokka's blush as he talked about her. Yue didn't want to let her mind wander, but she knew...

She knew Sokka was falling in love with Suki. Or maybe he was already in love with her, and he hadn't noticed.

The way he mentioned her. The way he made comments about what she did that made him happy. The way she slowly started to become a part of his life.

Yue wanted to cry.

The Sokka she gave her heart to had started to fall for another person. It broke her heart, shattering it every time Sokka mentioned the warrior.

Those particular nights, the tides of La crashed violently against each other. She didn't mean to burden the ocean spirit with her humanly emotions, but she couldn't help it.

Yue was heartbroken.

_"--As she walks by._

_What a sight for sore eyes,_

_Brighter than a blue sky._

_She's got you mesmerized,_

_While I die..."_

One night, when the rest of the team had gone to sleep, Yue saw Sokka get out of his tent. He sat down by a put-out fire pit, looking up at her. He had a sad smile painted on his face, and all she wanted to do was hug him until that smile turned toothy and cheeky. 

"Hey, Yue..." he started, smiling a little wider when he addressed her. "I miss you."

She missed him, too.

"I just wish..." He paused, sighing deeply. "You know... I just wish that you were here with me. I want to touch you, but not in... _that..._ way!" He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I meant, I want to hug you. And maybe even kiss you, if you'd allow me to. I want to watch the moon with you on a bridge somewhere, and talk to you about everything and nothing. I want to go back to the days where we enjoyed the sight of the moon together in each other's arms. I know you're here with me, but I want you... _here._ In my arms. Not in the sky, you know?"

She smiled at him, almost wanting to tell him that she was still here. She was still with him. 

But he was right.

She was so far away. The only thing that he could touch was the moonlight, and even then, it wasn't much.

And then, she saw her--Suki. 

The warrior emerged from her tent and walked over to Sokka, slowly sitting down next to him. Their shoulders almost touched, and she could hear her ask Sokka if he was alright.

If he wanted to talk.

If he needed a shoulder to cry on.

She watched as the love of her life turned to the Kyoshi warrior and smiled at her. She heard him tell her what was happening--how he was talking to the 'beautiful girl that turned into the moon'. She could see how interested she was in what he had to say, even going so far as to ask him questions about the moon-- _about her._

Yue grew wary as the two grew closer. They leaned in as they whispered.

_Just like how Sokka used to whisper to her. Under the bridge. In the moonlight._

She watched as they leaned closer and closer. She gasped when she saw Suki lean in to kiss him, and cried when Sokka leaned into the kiss.

They looked so happy. So content.

Yue screamed in agony that night. By accident, she caused La to crash his waves into the Northern Water Tribe structures. Her anger directed itself onto the people she swore she'd protect, and for the first time in many years, she wished those people weren't alive.

Because they separated her and Sokka.

Because they were the cause of her heartbreak.

Because they were the ones that asked the moon spirit for her life back as a newborn.

But as she calmed down, she apologized to La. In the end, Yue decided to protect her people. 

She didn't have to, but she did.

And now, she watched as the love of her life kissed the girl he fell for.

It wasn't anyone's fault.

But for all it was worth, Yue still wanted to die.

_"Why would you ever kiss me?_

_I'm not even half as pretty._

_You gave her your sweater._

_It's just polyester,_

_But you like her better._

_I wish I were Heather."_

When Zuko joined the team, Yue grew a little wary of the banished prince. She swore that, if he ever hurt Sokka, she would cast the waves of La so far over the scarred boy's head and end him. Despite being so gentle, she would protect the love of her life from anything and everything.

She watched as the banished prince sought after trust from the team. She eventually gave him her trust, shining her moonlight on him when he ventured out into a dark night. She treated him like every single member of Team Avatar--well, every single member minus Sokka.

She favored Sokka more. For obvious reasons.

She saw how the prince would try to mend his relationship with Katara, only to have his efforts squashed by the Southern Water Tribe girl. He eventually learned that it was almost impossible to talk to the waterbender without a particular motive, so he sought after Sokka.

That night, Yue watched as the love of her life organized his tent with candles and roses. Her heart ached when she found out--through sheer embarrassment on Sokka's part when Zuko entered his tent--that it was all for Suki. The moon spirit absentmindedly listened to their conversation about Katara's mother, focusing more on how the Kyoshi warrior snuck out of her tent and secretively crawled over to Sokka's tent. 

As Zuko came out, a plan forming in his mind, Yue kept her eye on Suki. She watched as the girl slid into Sokka's tent, and she heard both of their laughter once they saw each other. Yue shined some moonlight into the tent, trying to see better. She wanted to know what was going on.

She saw how the two laid by each other's side on sleeping bags, speaking in hushed voices. They talked about everything and nothing, laughing quietly occasionally with every passing comment. She saw how securely they held each other, not wanting to let each other go.

When Yue shined her moonlight a little brighter, she could make out their smiles. She saw Suki's shy yet bold grin as she looked into Sokka's eyes.

As for Sokka, Yue saw the smile she longed to see since the day she became a spirit. It was toothy and cheeky, just like how it was on the days they spent on the bridge together.

But for some reason, Yue wasn't mad. Her heart ache disappeared slowly. She didn't understand why she wasn't heartbroken at the fact that the love of her life was smiling at another girl...

...Until she realized...

...That he was happy.

Sokka was happy.

For the first time in a long time, the love of her life was smiling widely and genuinely. Even if Yue didn't cause that smile, she was happy.

She was happy because Sokka was happy.

_"Wish I were Heather..._

_Oh..._

_Wish I were Heather..."_

The war was over, and Yue aided Team Avatar as much as she could. It left her out of breath sometimes, but she was always happy to help. The war destroyed so much; it needed to end one way or another.

A few days passed after the war. The banished price became the Firelord, and Yue was proud to know that the boy had started making plans to restore peace and justice to the world. The avatar swore to aid the world as much as he could, and Yue wanted to cheer every time Aang completed a task--no matter how big or small it was. She even cheered when Katara and Aang got together, causing La (to his distress) to send waves crashing in every direction as a celebration. To her amusement, Toph aided Zuko as the Firelord's 'emtional support criminal' before creating a police force of metalbenders.

But before the police force was created, Yue enjoyed the little laughs she got as she watched Firelord Zuko excuse Tax-Evader-Toph for every tiny crime she tried to get away with. It was funny. _Really_ funny. 

And in terms of Sokka...

He moved back to the North Pole, rejoining his tribe as chief and ambassador. Katara soon followed, and she brought Suki with her. The night the two girls visited the Northern Water Tribe, there was a feast. Many tribe members gave Yue an offering, which Yue blessed and took with much gratefulness. Of course, she shared with La, who made happy ocean noises in return. 

Later that night, when the tribe had fallen asleep, she watched as Sokka emerged from an igloo and sit by a put-out fire pit. He looked up at her and smiled, waving at her from the Earth below.

"Hey, Yue," he greeted--his smile so wide, toothy and cheeky. "I'm really sorry for not speaking to you for a while. It's been a long few nights, and I was really busy."

Yue had long forgiven him. She knew he was busy. All she cared about was that he was happy.

"So..." he started, growing shy. "...About Suki. I realized that I really, _really_ love her. I'm thinking of proposing in a few years, if everything goes well. I think you'd like her; she reminds me of you." A pause before Sokka sighed dramatically, "Okay, nevermind. She's nothing like you. She's different, but in a good way. In a Suki way. I guess I love her because she's her." Another pause. "...And I love you, Yue. A lot. I love you for you. You'll always be Yue to me. And Suki will always be Suki."

Yue understood. The heartbreak never came to her. She smiled, shining her moonlight at Sokka. She saw him smile wider, knowing that he got the message.

She blessed his wishes. _He was happy._

In the corner of her eye, she saw Suki emerge from another igloo that she shared with Katara. Yue watched as the warrior walked over to Sokka, sitting by his side. She watched as the love of her life smiled at the girl, and even Yue was happy that the girl was there.

Because Suki made Sokka happy.

"Hey," Suki whispered, "What are you doing?"

Yue saw Sokka pointing at the moon-- _at her._ She saw Suki look at her and wave brightly.

"Hey, Yue!" Suki exclaimed loudly, almost forgetting that the rest of the tribe was asleep.

When the Kyoshi warrior remembered, she covered her mouth in embarrassment and quietly laughed to herself. Yue saw Sokka snicker at the girl, putting his arm around the her.

Yue watched as the couple sat there in each other's presence, looking up at the moon in content. 

At some point, Suki shivered.

"Cold?" Sokka asked.

The warrior nodded.

Yue watched as the love of her life took of his winter coat and put it around the shivering girl, much to her protest.

"But you'll be cold!" Suki complained, trying to shrug the coat off.

"It's fine," Sokka insisted, fixing the coat as it fell off the girl's shoulders. "I won't be cold. I grew up here. I'm used to it."

"Why? 'Cause you're a man?"

"No," Sokka protested, but after a while, teased, "...Maybe."

Yue laughed as Suki playfully slapped Sokka's arm, who in turn laughed along. The moon spirit kept her moonlight on the couple, watching as the Kyoshi warrior soon dozed off while sitting in the snow--in Sokka's arms. Yue watched as Sokka looked at her with the same toothy and cheeky smile she grew to love.

Over the months she watched over him, she experienced heartbreak after heartbreak. She learned to silently suffer, as she couldn't do a thing to help the boy she loved.

But over the months she watched over him, Yue learned what love meant. Love was a hard emotion to let go of, and she was grateful to still know how to love.

As much as she wanted to be Suki, Yue just wanted Sokka to smile. She knew that he was better off when he was happy. The moon spirit learned to love the Water Tribe Warrior from a distance, all while still being there for him when he needed her.

She knew that, deep down in his heart, she couldn't be replaced. Yue was still his Yue, just like Suki was still his Suki.

Yue watched as Sokka gently picked Suki up, carrying her into his igloo. Yue saw his toothy and cheeky smile one last time before she lessened her moonlight, happy to know that the love of her life was safely in his igloo with the new love of his life. She thought back to the days he spent with her on the bridge, giving her the same smile he now carried on his face without a slight hesitation.

She loved the boy that gave her his winter coat without a second thought, but she loved that boy's smile the most.

_"Why would you ever kiss me?_

_I'm not even half as pretty._

_You gave her your sweater._

_It's just polyester,_

_But you like her better._

_Wish I were..."_

**Author's Note:**

> How was it?


End file.
